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Saturday June 6, 1951 8:30am - Sex Bomb, Sex Bomb, You're my Sex Bomb

Greg Bradley, sensitive but tough, is hot on the trail of the mutant ant menace.

I woke up early on saturday morning. My mind flashed back to the previous afternoon where I may or may not have shot and assaulted Dr. Wells with my pistol. It seemed a good idea to go to the police first and frame someone, or at least make up a good story for my innocence.

A murder eh? This is pretty interesting. Neptune hall was the home to the local branch of the Neptunian Society. A bunch of wacked out weirdos who believe in all kinds of crazy stories about aliens and volcanoes and nuclear bombs.

I wondered what the locals thought about all this.

It seems the general consensus is that it's very suspicious for a dead body to turn up at Billy Bob's doorstep. However I thought it's quite possible that a giant radioactive mutant ant did it.

I went in to see Dusty. She'd probably take me back now that there are 'murderers' around.

Actually the town seems not to be talking about us at all, but more the whole MURDER deal.

I didn't have anything I particularly wanted to do, and I didn't feel like going to blow up more ants, so I drove around town lookin to see if anything interesting was happening. On an impulse, I drove out to the quarry.

This is another free piece of evidence that you can get by coming here at the right time.

A strange fluid, which burns skin? This doesn't sound good. Unless the ants were clumsy enough to injure themselves then this can't be blood, so it must be..


I told the stupid fat bastard to fuck off, and I left in a hurry.

By this time several hours had passed, so I thought it would be reasonable to expect the police to have found out something new. I went to check in with them.

That's very interesting. It sounds like I was actually right that it was an ant, since I already knew that Jackie's friend had been eaten. If Billy Bob found her body, this means he might actually know about the ants...

That's not good. If the ants go on the offensive, we'll be cut off with nothing but a large military base full of tanks to defend ourselves!

Oh, wait. Never mind.

I drove down to Neptune hall to poke around and see what I could find. I'd always wanted to see a dead body!

Oh god, how many people in this town carry switchblades? This is getting ridiculous.

We calmy stepped outside and onto an unmarked piece of desert before beginning.

Hmmm, Billy Bob looks pretty frail. I had an idea, and shouted "BOO!" at the top of my lungs.

Oh yeh! That guy is such a pussy. He apparently had a heart attack so powerful he started bleeding in several places. I ran back inside.

... or at least for today.

I'm not sure where Jackie was, I couldn't see her, or why she was here and not locked in my bedroom.

I drove home, and when I got inside Jackie was there. Bizarre, but a pleasant situation nonetheless.

Well, it looks like Billy Bob has some designs on the ants as well, but his don't involve grenades and dynamite. This could be a problem, if somehow he were able to control the ants and not get eaten alive immediately. Fortunately, he can't, so this isn't really a problem.

I locked Jackie in my bedroom again, making sure to padlock the windows too just in case. After that, I was feeling pretty manly so I drove to the pub to get shitfaced.

Nothing like a good mob to remove any desire for drink. While I was here, I may as well pay a visit to see Dusty, and see if she's ready to take me back.

Well, at least she wasn't cursing at me, which is an improvement.

I was still bored though, but then a brainwave struck me. The ants are probably swarming all over the South West volcano cone - I bet if I head down there I'd see some ants.

Bingo! Once I had killed the first ant, the rest all seemed mighty offended, and came down to play.

Unfortunately for them, I don't play fair. I managed to kill quite a few before they realised they should run away.

Phew! I always get tired after some killing. It was only 3pm, but I figured I could do with some more sleep tonight, so I went to bed.

When I got up in the morning, Jackie wasn't there! I instantly thought Dusty had somehow kidnapped her in a fit of jealous rage.

Well there goes that theory. She was too honest, she couldn't have kidnapped Jackie. Now that I think about it, that's probably kind of a silly idea.

On my way back, elmer waved me into his station.

He was hiding behind one of the pumps, but I could hear him fine. Sounds like Jackie's in trouble!

That farmer was giving me one of the scariest looks I've ever seen. It looked like he had been hoping Jackie would stay and "plow his fields". I drove Jackie away quickly.

You can actually get the plaster cast again here.

I told her that this was old news, and that I had been going on about these giant ants for days. I took her out back and showed her the ant corpse that I had dragged home from the South West Volcano.

She seemed rather unimpressed, and kept going on about how she needed to go to bed. I was rather excited until she clarified that she wanted to sleep. I indicated that this was not an option and that she should keep talking.

More crazies and no useful information. I knew the ants lived somewhere around Mine 1 in the south west, but this didn't give me any new clues.

The professor called me, and said I needed to come straight away, that he had some urgent news. I asked him if this was just him telling me about some giant ants, and he said that it was more that.

At this point I don't even care. I just left without saying a word.

Well, I maybe shot at him a couple of times, but I missed on purpose.

Louie's accent was deteriorating rapidly. There was no time, I had to do save him!

This is another way of getting the audio recordings of the ants.

Well, actually, maybe another time. It was almost to 4pm so it was time for me to go to bed.

When I woke up, I decided I should check in with the police to see if they had found anything new about the "murder".

Wait, second quiet day in a row? there was a dead body discovered the day before that?! Surely you can't say the day after a murder is quiet?

This town seems to be staffed entirely by incompetents.

Speaking of incompetency, I went to get some gas.

God, Elmer is such an inane dribbling idiot. I wouldn't be surprised if he woke up and forgot how to tie his shoelaces one day.

I was sick and tired of this. I went back home to Jackie. She wasn't any better than the rest of them, but at least she was easy on the eyes.

That's when she dropped the bombshell. She was going back to Hollywood to testify against her ex-boyfriend.

This is the best kind of goodbye.

That was the best sex I've ever had. I need to find more crazy broads who have mobster ex-boyfriends.

That's all unedited folks. However, that's pretty much the creepiest part of the game out of the way.

I lay back and slept right through until the next day. Jackie had really worn me out.

Next update: The endgame begins, it's time for the big guns.